quiet time.

Max baby im sullen but ok. I don't think it helps that im sleepy. Sometimes I wonder if to much coffee is contradicting. Max I like that my friend likes laying around. She actually feel asleep on the couch. Your daddy and her husband might go dirt bike ridding. Im a little worried though, because he was never gone riding before. It makes me a little nervous.
Max im doing a really good job at keeping everything together and being ok. Im actually really sad that my friends drove down from Boston to see us. I wish they where here to see you, not just me. I wish I was tired from you being up at night, not from the dog. I wish I was showing you off. Max baby we don't keep your door shut, we keep it cracked open for you. I don't ever want your door shut. Well there dog went into your, room. My friend asked if that was ok. It was ok with me. I like your room. sometimes I feel uncomfortable, that people may be uncomfortable. (if that makes sense) Max I did feel a certain way though, not upset, but maybe a little protective or even a little sad. As long as he or Beanz don't touch your bear where ok. I dont make your room off limits. I just don't want things moved.

Max I really like that even though I have company I can still have my really lazy unproductive days. Even though im in a certain way, Im not overwhelmed because they are here. Im not really even that agitated.
Im just sad. Thats all.

Max I called the obgyn on friday, I know that nurse that I needed to talk to was not there, but I had to leave a message to see if the doctor sent something over to RSI yet about a go ahead to start the process again. Im worried he is not going to say yes, even though he told me everything would be ok. I will be a little upset if I have been on this birth control for nothing.

Max we have another, friend coming over to night, to see the friend thats hear and her husband. I hope then im still the same. I think im ready for bed now though. So I wonder how I will feel later. I seem to get so tired. Like im a child who when there is to much stimulation they get overwhelmed an then crash. Im not overwhelmed yet, the way I thought I would be but I am tired.

Max I do like that im getting to write to you, a lot more then I thought I would. (that was making me nervous) My friend is sleeping, the dogs are sleeping and the boys are getting ready to go ride.
So far things are ok.

I love you my little love and miss you so much. I miss you so much as it is, but even more when Im in situations where you should be here and the center of everything.

Talk to you later.