Max I remember this evening, by now I started having some contractions from being induced. I was excited, I was going to have you sometime in the next 24 hours. I was happy.

I have been happy since, but not the way I was before. My breakdowns have begun and I'm breaking. The good thing about being so busy is not thinking. The bad thing is those emotions still come and they it catch up fast and it hits hard.

I miss you so much it hurts. Tomorrow you turn two, my love.

Max the days are dwindling down and my chest is filled with so much sadness, and a void. Your missing. 3 more days until your birthday my little boy.

Your birthday is in 4 days. Bitter sweet my love.

Max your party was awesome! I was so worried and stressed but it was perfect. I live you so much Max. So far I have collected so many diapers in your memory as well as other baby thing! I love you. I miss you.

Max my love, your second birthday is coming up and I miss you SO much! I have not been writing but mainly because Im always sad. Max baby I'm pregnant again, and with the same embryos that were made when we got you! I feel like there your twins. It's early I'm only 4 weeks 6 days . Right now I don't know if its one or two. All I know is I'm scared and exictied. I feel like it could all be a repeat and the sane thing happens to this new ones you. I need this baby to be alright and mainly because this new one is literally connected to you.

Your donation drive is going ok, last year was better with supplies but the love and support this year is amazing.

Max I miss you more then I can describe .

I love you!