Making my way without Max

Conversations to my baby while learning to live in this world without him.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Thinking about you. About how much I love you. How much I miss you.

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Anna begins: I had five miscarriages and then went through IVF to get my baby. I was so lucky to have him. Max Athan Brant was born on 08/16/2011. I had him for 41 weeks and 2 days. My baby died for unknown reasons. I went into the hospital planing on coming home with Max. I had a C-section due to his heart rate dropping to low. He came out crying with perfect scores of 8/8. I heard him cry. 54 minutes later my baby died.While I was on the table I saw the anesthesiologist keep looking over to Max, he looked like something was wrong. They said he was not staying as pink as she would like. They brought him to me, I got to kiss his check. They took him to the NCIU while being sewn up I heard a code go over the loud speaker. I knew it was my baby. I was put in the recovery room, they all came in (doctors and nurses) I just new and thats when my world stopped. My baby was dead. I will never be the same. There is no reason why and that haunts me. This blog is my journey with how I feel and dealing with life afterwards. I am married to the love of my life and have a wonderful dog named Beanz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksspz82VzMA

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