Happy Halloween my baby boy. Today was bitter sweet, I miss you. 

Alex's toys keep randomly going off and I wonder if its you playing games.

Love and miss you. 

Hi little love. I went out to diner tonight with 2 College friends. It was a good time but sometimes I'm so bothered by things, nothing anyone does on purpose and there things that should not even bother me! But things like talking about there boys, saying all the normal things that frustrate them about little boys. I don't have my little boy and its hard. Will always be hard. These normal innocent conversations still affect my heart. Then talking about needing therapy and being depressed because you hate your job. Yes I get it! I hate mine as well but things could be so much worse. I guess for me max my life perspective has changed and  I've learned to live and function at such a low.  I'm sure to others my sadness is nothing compared to theirs. I know my perspective is different and I have no ill feelings to anybody whose darkest hour is because they are not satisfied with there career. It's just tugs at my own emotions and insecurities.

Max I'm 13 weeks with who I think will be your brother! That's a good thing, I hope this baby is healthy and alive.