Hey baby so far this Thanksgiving has been ok. I did stay home. I feel bad, I miss the kids the most. But I cant go some where are just pay attention to all of them but the baby and not talk to any adults. That would be ruder then staying home. I went to the gym, went to walmart to get toothpaste. It was so empty there. It was nice. I then come home took Beanz for a walk, and cleaned the house. I was not all depressed and stuck to the couch like your daddy thought I would. I just wanted to be alone.  I needed to be alone with you. Today is just another day, I tell my self. Another day your not here. Thanksgiving is only celebrated by us. If you go back in history its actually quite savage. But the point of it now is to be thankful and family.  Well Max Im a very thankful person, Im a person who is grateful of everything and feels so undeserving of everything. I am very thankful of those I have in my life, Im also very sad about you not being in my life. Everyday I remind my self how lucky I am. How grateful I am for what I have.  Mostly how important things can go away.Life is so short. Which I guess is a reason why I should have gone. But I needed this Max. I know my self very well. I know I need to be alone. But im not falling apart (yet) Im doing ok.
I love you.