"Didn't you have a baby?"

Hey my little love. I decided I was going to clean the house today, but I needed to go to the store and get cleaning products. Well things were going well until, I was in the bathroom cleaning isle and saw someone from growing up, we were doing the "hi's" "how have you been" and then she says didn't you have a baby. The first time I have been asked this question with out Shane around. I froze a little, and then said yes I did but he died an hour after birth. I then said it will be 8 weeks on tuesday. I teared up a lot but I did not break down. This person said there sorrys and then her and her mother asked about the rest of my family, then moved on. Im getting more and more agitated as the day goes on because of this. They did nothing wrong, they were not rude, everything was polite. Im just getting increasingly agitated because I don't have you here. Instead of telling people you died I should be bragging about you and showing your pictures off to the point of annoying others.
I wish I could get up and go run, but this pain in my side does not even like walking right now. Im so agitated though. I even find my self being mean to your daddy. Its crazy how today I was ok, I was smiling and I was reminding my self how short life is. I was thinking how my life is still betters then others. I was ok, then I was asked about you. Asked about having my baby. All of a sudden im back to square one. Its crazy how one question can trigger so much. Max baby Im still better off then a lot of other people. I still am aware of how short life is. Im just missing you.
Max baby Casey is back in the hospital :( I wish things would improve for her. I hate thinking how she must feel. I think about her all the time. Why do the people that do good things and are so genuinely kind get faced with awful things. Its crazy that with the way science is now that babys can die after birth and that Cancer can still be so complicated to cure. things need to get better for her.

Max can you watch over her please.