Day 76

Hey baby boy, It was nice to have power agian. Except after it came back on I could not go to sleep. I forgot how much I like light and TV on in the background. Max I got lucky, im back in the control room today. It just so happens that we hired 5 new people and the supervisors assigned to the control room are the training officers. They can not be in the control room all the time, due to training. SO this means that I get to hide away more often. Maybe it will be a better transition, well I hope it will be. Either way, Im glad that im in here today because i feel off, maybe becasue I was worked up about going to work.
Max I hate feeling this way.
I guess its a good thing but I started losing weight, my real uniform still does not fit well. I can get it on, but its tight and looks awful. plus with the vest it may not fit. But im lossing weight. The only thing that worries me, is if it is real weight or not. Oh well. Max its funny because I do not care about much anymore, I dont really care how big I am. I used to all the time, untill I got pregnant with you. right now I just want to fit into my uniform so I dont stand out anymore then I all ready feel I do. Maybe ill start to feel like a supervisor again once I look like one, and not a new person in BDU's. Oh well though baby boy, htere is so much more to life then these little things. Its amazing how much I can let things go now, and how lttle things that used to bug me dont.

Max today is Halloween. it really bothers me that your not around for it. I am not giving out candy this year, I feel a little bad about it, but then whats one less house with out candy. Do the kids really need more candy. My neighborhood is big they will not be lacking! I am going to hide in my basement and watch tv. I have not been down there yet. We re-did it, after it flooded so it could be your play room and your dad's office again. We put the french drain in while I was pregnat so that we could re-carpet the basment and use the space again. It was all finsished for you. Oh well, it needed to be done anyway, and a co-worker from work helped us do the work. Or maybe I will leave right before trick-or-treating starts and go to the gym and not come back untill afterwards. That may be a more productive plan. Max im so avoident, but sometimes it not a bad thing.

I really missed not being able to send all my thoughts to you over the weekend. Max I wish my phone would not make pictures disapear then re-appear later. I really wanted to give you your first snow pictures. But I went through my phone, and I have so many belly pictures of you. i loved how my stomache grew. Max I loved having you in me and getting big for you. I even saw a picture of the pregnancy test, it was very positive. Max I saved all the test, untill a week before you were born. I wish I never thre them out.
Well I restarted my phone and all the pictures came back. I have no cell service in the basment but when i get a chance I will email them to myself so I can show you the snow.

Max I need to do some work. Missing yous something strong today baby boy