Hey my little love sorry, that I did not write much last night I just did not feel like getting on the computer and I did not feel well. This pain in my side is still there and its so uncomfortable. I have no clue what it is. I hope it has nothing to do with the C-section incision. Or is it because this is some sign that im making a bad decision in wanting to move forward with thinking about a sibling for you. Is this some way of me being told its a bad idea. What if I make even more wrong decision's. How do I know if im making the right decision.I just wish things would go right some times. Im tired of feeling so guilty. Today Max im not really in a mood to be social. I just dont feel like talking. Why talk when there is nothing to say. If I speak it would just be mindless chatter. Max im also very tired and just worn out. I wish this side pain would go away. I slept awful (no surprise) last night. The pain was so bad I could only sleep on my back, flat. Max baby im not sure how to define who I am or what im doing with my life anymore.
Max Your Nicu nurse texted me yesterday to see how work was going and to see when we can get together again. I have no service at work so I got it around 3, I responed back but have not heard anything from her. I really apprecaite her and what she has done for me. I dont want to be annoying or bother her. I hope she got my response. Max baby she was one of the last ones to see you alive, she was there in the end. Im greatful for everything she has done.
Maybe I should focus on your tattoo today, when I have down time. Just when I liked something now im thinking of something out. I need to make sure its just write baby. My mind is wondering a lot today. I wish I had an on and off switch. I cant seem to stop. But I guess floating by is ok........ at least im not sinking.
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