Good morning. So far so good right now. I still have this silly migraine in my eyes. They just want to stay shut, but its less intense right now. So that's a positive.
Max I find that I'm getting better and better at dealing with others and daily things. Yes they bother me but my emotions are less on the outside they are less out of control. BUT I find that I'm feeling worse and worse. Like things are going deeper and deeper. I feel so awful and low on the inside but better on the outside. Its like the sadness is getting deeper and darker.
So far though, I'm doing well this morning. I hope that continues through out the day. I'm so tired of feeling so down and depressed. I wish it would go away.
My order got messed up with the things I ordered you. SO I have to start over. Some of those things even got permanently deleted. The good thing is it will give me something to focus on today. The bad part is on the other order I had a really good coupon.
Well baby. It's just you and me right now. Everyone is in court or at there assignment. I used to like people. But to be honest lately I prefer it this way. Quiet. No conversations that trigger something in me. No questions, no talk of Christmas. I can look at you, I can write to you.
I love you baby boy. I hope the whole day continues like this.
Max we have toys for tots bin at work. I bought some things for the box, one for an older child, middle aged child and young child, but your dad and I also decided to give some of your toys to them as well. They are baby toys for infants. I know you would not mind. I did not have much that was still unopened. But we gave 2 of yours away. I don't think you will mind, I'm sure you can play with what ever you want, anytime you want. These things were for you, but you never actually got to use them. This way someone else can actually use them. I love you so much. I was not sad when I went into your room to get them. I'm always at peace when I'm in your room. I love being there. I thought I might be sad when I put your 2 toys in the box, but actually I was happy. Like I was doing something you would want me to do. Like you were somehow letting me know it was ok. Max, I love you so much. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment