Good morning my love. I'm hoping that I continue to feel ok today. I have been so up and down lately. Like really up and down.
Yesterday I found a website where I can customize a book that can become a photo album for your pictures. I found ones with really cute toads. I can put your name on there and write what ever I want. Max it really makes me feel good to find things that I can customize to you. I just wish you were here instead though. Max our baby pictures really look alike. I think it is kind of neat. Its funny because I think you look like your grandpa when I just look at you, but then when I look at the picture of me we look so much a like.
I really love you.
I'm doing my best to stay on top of it today. No silly emotions. I am ok and I will be.
For some reason time seems to be going fast but so slow. Each day...week seems harder and harder in a different way. I'm doing better at coping on the outside and dealing with people and life, but the inside I just feel empty, lost and so very sad.
But I am hopeful and I am optimistic that things will be ok someday.
I 'am still working in the basement, so that's a good thing. I'm still not in the real uniform yet so I'm just uncomfortable. I feel different and I look different. Hopeful when I get the bigger uniform I won't feel like I stand out so much. I hate that I'm so scared to face people. To deal with everyday things still gets a bit draining, but I am doing better.
Today is a new day, I love you Max baby.
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