Sweet dreams

Max baby I need to get ready for bed even though it's only 915 and I'm wide awake. I have to open tomorrow but the good news is I get to leave early.  Today was emotional, not the worst day, or a bad day, just emotional. It takes so much out of me being in the lobby (in the public) two people came up to me and welcomed me back, it was simple not much conversation, it actually meant a lot, but still emotional.  Hearing people talk about family and plans and first Christmas..... There is so much joy everywhere. It's nice but oh so depressing. I think that's why the lobby is hard, you have to go through all the emotions of being ok when your really ready to snap. It's draining. But it's ok. I can't be mad at the world for being happy, I should be more happy about it. I would feel awful if everyone felt like me. I want people to be happy. That would be very self centered of me to expect people to not be happy because I'm not. I like when others are happy, it's just draining for me. But that's ok. I received a nice email from someone that I decided to complement how much they love there baby. I know it's weird but I don't see man people only say great things, that's all he does. He loves that boy and it shows. I know people love there kids but they complain about being tired , the baby being fussy, or this or that. Do those people know how much I would live to be tired because your keeping me up. No they don't and that's ok. But this person never complains and always displays such gratefulness for his son and that makes me happy, truly happy not angry, or jealous, it's just nice. My mouth decided to say something to this person that I have not talked to since  HS.  Max yesterday on the news they talked about a lady that left her baby in a box, the umbilical cord was still attached , she left her in. Box with the trash! Max I don't get it at all. It makes me So so so so angry. Max I would adopt a baby. (if I had 30,000)but lots of people would. AND lady we live in a state with safe haven laws. Somedays I hate people! The baby lived, she is fine and hopefully she will never be treated like that again.  Max on a good note! Case-face's cancer is doing EVEN better! Things continue to improve. I'm glad this is going to be a great Christmas for her. This may be the best news of the year.  I love you, if you sleep in heaven. Sweet dreams baby boy. Max I'm ok, and I wanted to make sure you know that" it's hard but I'm ok, I got to meet you, see you and hear you. More then others. I got to experience Max love! And that's pure joy.