Never got my hair cut!

Hi baby boy. Well I never ended up getting my hair cut. The lady was so very nice and we talked for a long while, but then we both had to go. Her son was Liam. He never went home either. Max poor Liam had a very rare metabolic disorder. That even If they knew what he had before he still would have died. Max he would have been 4 in October. It was so nice to talk with someone, like really talk to someone about all this. Max where I can be shy, she was very outspoken and made her stance on Liam very clear. I love how she is not afraid to talk about him to complete strangers. How she is ok crying in public still. How she tells and talks to everyone about him. How so included Liam is. Max I do the same with you, with some that know me well. I'm not afraid to talk about you , but it's so hard. I feel Ike those that don't understand, don't want to here me. They don't understand the sadness, or the missing you. Or even just the need to talk about you. I feel like I can only open up to other moms like me or to your dad. Everyone else I just can't. I cried a lot tonight. But it was good. Max I miss you so much and I really enjoyed talking about you. Ha ha but I never got my hair cut, next Friday I will instead!

On my way home though I did get an aggravated sad going on. By the time I got home I was a bit grouchy. I'm always worse, when I'm overly tired and have these headaches. I go to the neurologist next week. These headaches are getting to me,
I am better now. I feel much better now. Your dad and I took Beanz to the pet store together. He was so happy and excited. We had to buy him food, but we let him get a new toy. That made my mood better.
Also Max I'm still not close to ovulating. I either don't at all OR really late. It frustrates me. Because even if I do ovulate on my own, it's not going to help with a pregnancy. My lining will never be good enough on my own to support a baby. I will always have to have some kind of help. And if it just happens with out monitoring, the result will almost always be a miscarriage.

Well baby I love you. Love you so much.