Max I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it's so late and I'm saying hello. I'm really tired and it's been a long day. A bit of disappointment today, that just adds to my hopeless feeling. I feel like I go in circles ok, sadness, ok, despair, ok, anger, ok sadness, and now back to to despair I was so happy and then you died. Everything I ever dreamed of died when you did. I feel like that net ever come back. I also feel like you will never have a sibling.

Max I love you. I drove past where my friends mommy graves is, I talked to her today. Other people are also missing there loves today. It seems like today is a hard day for me people other then just me. It must be that kind of day. I wonder what it's like up there where ever you are. Do you know we are missing you.

I think I need to go to bed. Tomorrow starts the weekend. Your daddy and I get to be together all weekend. Other the having you with me, Thats my second favorite thing!

I love you. Goodnight baby boy.