Pictures

Max I love pictures. A picture can help hold a memory. A picture makes you real. At first I did not want to share your pictures. I wanted to keep you to my self. But sharing you makes you more real. Max while in the hospital after you died, these people came in and took your picture. They were the " Now I lay me down to sleep" foundation. When the guy came in to take your picture I did not know who he was. I thought he thought you were still alive. I then learned where he was from. I did not know if this was a good idea at first. I could not stop crying. Well since I have been home, I have been checking the mail for your pictures. Its like I need to see them. I know your not alive in the pictures, but everything was a fog. What if they remind me of something that happened. What If I get to see you in a way I missed because I was in such a fog. Well I received a letter on friday, saying that they will be coming soon. The letter also said to prepare your self because they may be hard to look at. Once I got that letter, I have been having a hard time. Maybe im not ready to see them. Im scared to see them, but at the same time I need to see them. They should be here tomorrow and im getting anxious.  Im so glad I have three pictures of you alive. I love looking at you. I could look at you all day my little love.