Day 35 11:03pm Miss you...

Max baby I am drained. This day has been up and down. Tomorrow I hope to get things done. I made a list tonight, for tomorrow. Maybe I will go and print out some of the photos that came, I just want to have nice frames to put them in first. The pictures are amazing of you. Today has been ok and bad all in one. Max Im going to try and sleep tonight. I am going to bed sad tonight, but also ok. You gave me two toads tonight, im happy they are still around. I don't know if I can handle the weather being cold. I will see the toads less.
Max im very sad in general tonight, I tell you all the time I miss you. Its crazy how I have this void. I miss you in my belly, I miss feeling you kick. I miss rubbing you, I miss calling you little boy, I miss talking to you on the way home from work. I even miss being hungry all the time I MISS you. Some nights are harder then others. I just feel sad, but I can deal with that little boy. A mom who has been through this hard journey and knows what Im going though, wrote to me tonight . What she said made me feel comforted for us. She said that you were happy and content in my belly, you had no concept of time. Now you are in heaven, there is no time in heaven. When you see me again it will be like I never left you.
I will be ok. You are the reason Im ok. I still have hope for us.
Maybe we will see each other tonight in my dreams.

Thanks for the toads.

Goodnight my little love.