Hi little boy, so I lost my wedding ring. I don't understand why I lose everything. You have the most irresponsible mom there is! Unless its attached to me, I will loss it. maybe thats why you died, Maybe if I got to get you I would have lost you somewhere. I doubt it, but it would not surprise me. Im really mad at my self for losing a very important ring. Your daddy was not mad at all and I did not think he would be. He is so nice.
Max baby im so tired, like always and I just hate going to work. Every since you died I hate being there. I wish we had the kind of money where I could just stay at home and hide away. I only want to be with your dad and Beanz. (oh Beanz was so bad yesterday Max, the first time ever he ran into the road). Today at work I was really bored so I went with a co-worker/friend to bring a juvenile back to the youth center and he started talking about babys and car seats( he does car seats with me) Well it did not make me angry or upset it just made me think of you. It made me sad. He did not say anything bad, but I was just aware of missing you and It makes me real sad. So I did what I do best and changed the subject. I will never be normal baby boy.
Max I hope you are happy with me. I hope you want this one just as much as I think I need it. I switched to the shoots, because I was hating the other. Who would ever think I would prefer a shot! Max i used to hate them. In my 20's I would have to be held down for one. And now they are no big deal. I learned to be ok with shots because of you little boy. Thats just another something you have given to me.
I love you, I need to make coffee for your daddy and then Im going to lay in bed! I love you and please be ok with me wanting this.
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