Max I was doing really well tonight but all of a sudden, some things really triggered me. All I can say right now is I'm so grateful I got to kiss your check and see your perfect face alive. I will never forget that kiss.
Thinking of you and missing you a lot right now.
I love you.
Just wanted to tell you I went to say goodnight to your daddy and feel apart. I started crying and crying. He was so good to me, I just couldn't help how much I miss you. I Actually have not cried this hard in a while actually! And I then went in your room and cried and cried again. I'm emotionally and mentally tired. I looked at your things from the hospital, I smelled your hair and touched your ashes, and then sat in the rocking chair and held your bear and just cried and cried. It's been a while since I cried this hysterically. I then talked to you, cried some more then got my self together.
Good night beautiful baby boy.
I hope you're feeling better after. I still have that type of reaction for things that happened years ago. I love you & am sending positive thoughts out for you. xxoo
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