Hello baby boy. My mood had less tears today, but a lot of ups and downs. I had to install 3 car seats after work, that is always really hard for me. I just fear any questions about babies, or when they want to know if I have any kids. I can't say no because I can't handle the guilt of saying I never had you, but then I don't want to make them uncomfortable and fear giving birth( even though maybe they should) . You dad says I should just say no because people are not asking if I HAD an babies, just if I have and since I don't have you in the physical sense I would not be lying. I understand what he is trying to do, but it won't work for me. It just leaves my head all confused. Luckily I did not have to face those questions, they were all infant seats but I got lucky, only the dads came, so I did not have to see really pregnant women. Even so the whole thing still messes with and it's such an emotional struggle to do car seats. But I tell my self it's just my job, and I do my best to separate and fake it through.

I love you baby boy, your daddy is having a rough/sad night. Can you please watch over him