Good evening baby boy, Im kind of in a sad funk again, but your daddy is having a really bad night. Im worried about him tonight. He is under so much stress and I hate it. He is exhausted and overworked. He feels inadequate and a failure. I hate this for him and I wish something would work out for him. Your daddy is the greatest person to me.
I told my boss about your sibling and I started to cry. I really miss you, but the good thing is that she was very understanding and I will be out of uniform next week. I feel bad because I just went back into it. Oh well your sibling is more important. I am happy for this baby and that is ok. I know its ok, but its still hard and I have so much fear. But having to tell my boss, sent me in a funk again and im really missing you.
I was supposed to go to dinner with some of my college friends, but I went to the restaurant in KOP and they went to philadelphia-Opps! Oh well, I was really in an anti-social mood any way, but your dad told me I have to go. Plus I did want to see them, I was just in my stay home and hide mode. So when I learned I went to the wrong place I walked around the mall by myself. I went into to old navy and walked past the baby section and I started to cry. Who crys in old navy-ME. I barely bought anything for you from there, but for some reason In that moment around the newborn clothes my mind could not stop thinking about you.
Its so weird how my day can be ok, but I feel so low. I think its just this cycle im on a week im doing ok, then the following Im melting down. I guess the good thing is it used to be a day of being ok and then the next I want to jump off a bridge. So I guess this is an improvement.
For tonight though baby boy, can you please watch over your daddy. Maybe you can be there with him, the way I feel you are with me. Maybe you can have his daddy send some love to him. He really needs it. I know he misses you and his daddy so much. I know I will be ok, always, but your daddy I dont know. He needs you.
No comments:
Post a Comment