Forget me not

My little one

You have left us too soon

Though my body can no longer hold you

I hold you forever in my heart

As precious and beautiful as this flower caught in time

A mother's love does not forget

Hi baby boy! I feel better today. My stomach is feeling a lot better, its just yesterday for some reason I was not feeling well. Im afraid im on that fine line of getting sick. I feel another dreaded sinus infection coming on. Oh well if it does I will deal with it.  Max baby I was real emotional this morning, I had a bit of a crying fit. I felt like an idiot when it was over. I told your dad that i feel like a failure because I dont cook, and that I dont know how to. Your daddy was trying to help me, but in the end I just had a fit. I then reminded him that my plan was to become domestic and learn how to cook, when you were born. I would have had to. I looked forward to it so much. SO this morning in my sad state, i was dwelling on the fact that im no good at house type things (cooking, cleaning) and that if you were here I would have to be.  About an hour later, i was ok. The weather is real nice again, and I spent some time outside with Beanz. I did some laundry, I had to wash my uniform AND I even made dinner. I made real food, in the oven (not microwave) in honer of you. Your dad does not eat meat so it looks like I have it for all week ( I dont like left overs) so this should be interesting, what color it becomes in the fridge! But I made dinner, instead of crying over the fact that I dont do anything. I hate complainers, that do nothing to try to fix what it is they complain about. I especially dont like it when it comes from me. So I did something about it.

Max I have not seen a toad for my self lately but I have been getting real cool things, that I dont think are coincidences. First there was my wedding ring, then I have a friend in Florida who's little girl died . She has a garden for her with a angel statue, sitting on the statute was a toad. She sent it to me, that im sure was a nice place for the toad to hang out, but i think it was you Max. Then my friend who's mommy died a few months ago, well she was cleaning in her moms garage, and found two seed packets of flowers. There was other circumstances around these seed packets, but they were "forget me not " flowers. She sent me a message saying that there was one packet for her mom and one packet for you Max. The thing that is so neat is that she has no idea that one of the pieces of jewelry around my neck is a "forget me not " flower with your birth stone. It was given to me as a gift by a good friend, she had no idea how special the "forget me not" flower has become to me. Is it some weird coincidence or again is that somehow you are able to connect to me in these neat ways. I like to think its you.
I will always be connected to you.