The maker.

Hello my baby boy. I was ok today but as the night creeps in Im growing sadder. The thought of you turning one is getting closer and closer. Your baby friend Phoenix turns one tomorrow. Im very sad for his mom and dad. The one year birthday mark should be one of the greatest celebrations. Instead we can only celebrate the memory and be in honor of you, Phoenix and all the babies. I hate this for her, and I dread it coming up for your daddy and I. I keep seeing all the babies that were born the same day as you. Im so happy for them, but it hurts so much seeing where you should be at this point in development.
I dont understand why I have not seen any toads of my own. I hope I did not scare them away. I have been so sad.

I have been listening to Dave Matthew's all day at work, home and in my car.  This cover that he does is stuck in my head. I love it.  The song is just peaceful, im in a sad heart broken mood, but this song is soothing me tonight.  I even played it for your sister. Max I miss you so much, everyday.

Oh, oh deep water, black and cold like the night

I stand with arms wide open

I've run a twisted line

I'm a stranger in the eyes of the Maker

And I could not see for the fog in my eyes

I could not feel for the fear in my life

From across the great divide

In the distance I saw the light

Of John Baptist walking to me with the Maker

My body is bent and broken by long and dangerous sleep

I can't work the fields of Abraham and turn my head away

I'm not a stranger in the hands of the Maker

Brother John, have you seen the homeless daughters

Standing there with broken wings

I have seen the flaming sword

There over east of Eden

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Oh, river rise from your sleep

Oh, river rise from your sleep

Oh, river rise from your sleep