Hello my baby boy. I. Super tired and am laying in bed already but I doubt I will be going to sleep. I was so tired I feel asleep at 6 until 7 so I'm sure I will be wide awake for a long while.
Max today was a good day kind of. I went and met up with another mom like me today. Max she had twins that passed away. I really liked meeting with her, even though her baby's passed away 7 weeks ago, I understand how she is feeling. It was comforting and heart breaking all at the same time.
Max I hope I did the right thing but I asked people to help me. I sent an email to the pastor that married us, and then asked on face book on helping me find a baby who will be turning one around the same time as you. I want to find a family that needs help. But I want to find a baby that is turning one at the same time as you and then buy them birthday presents that they need. I'm really struggling with your birthday, and maybe if I can i can pull this off, it will be a way to celebrate I honor of you. I'm just a little nervous with my decision of asking help. Maybe I should not have.
Last night I cried a lot.
Tomorrow is 11 months.
Max I love you so much and want to do things, good things in honor of you.
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