Hello my little love. Today was better. Im so very grateful that today was better.  I sure do miss you though. I cant stop thinking about your birthday coming up. I should be planning a big party for you. Instead im so worried I wont be able to handle it. I want to do something amazing for you, but in all reality I will probably just sit by your tree with your bear and cry. It hurts so much that soon you will be gone for a whole year. I know its true but i wish it were not. I wish more then anything you were alive.

Max im so glad that your daddy is ok today. Please keep watching over him. I love you baby boy .