Baby boy I have been real emotional lately. I think im having a pretty hard time in general. I never thought a first birthday would be so hard. I snapped on somebody at work yesterday. But she was in my space, literately she was putting things all over my desk. Im very territorial and I did not want her there. Today all day at work I installed car seats, it was ok, except it started out with a person asking about what I had. She remembered me when I was pregnant with you. I simply said I had a boy, and then moved away. She did not ask any other questions and I did not need to say that you have died. It still was a shock to me that almost a year later and im still being asked about you. Asked about you as if you are alive. That qestion will never get eaiser.


Max could you please help me with you sister. I have some many weird things that I never had with you. Things that really worry me. Things that scare me. I may just be paranoid, but please if you can help keep her and I safe.

Max I love you.