New year

Max I'm missing you a lot right now. My heart is breaking. ( well still broken) I have this boy in my belly whom I can't get connected to and this amazing little girl in my arms. I fear everyday that this boy will have the same results as you and that alex won't stay with me either. 

I'm struggling because I got to see and hear you, I got to kiss you but yet that's not enough. I want more! 

I go back to thinking about your birth and how someone messed up. Someone should have fine something diffrent. More then someone.

I'm tired and emotional and I miss you.

Happy new year, my little love.