Hi max. This baby inside me feels like just  a baby! There is a big disconnect. You were my son, I was so exicited and so in love. Alex was my saving grace. I needed her. I want this baby but I feel unconnected. Maybe it's because it's a he. And that he's very similar to you. The pregnacys seem the same. Maybe I'm scared I will lose this boy, so I'm not attaching my self it allowing my self to love him. However I know if something happens my heart will still be broken, and then I will feel guilty for not being exicited.

Max I hope this baby gets to stay.