Hello my baby boy! Im so nervous! Your brother comes on thursday. Everyone keeps saying not to be worried, what happened to you was rare, and wont happen again. WEll  no one knows that for sure! Anything can happen. I really cant wait to hold this little boy and love on him the way I do Alex. All the love I give for you is in my love for Alex, and I hope with this boy as well.
Im also scrared that I will compare him to you all the time. I think I may have thought this with Alex also. But lately because this baby is a boy I keep wanting to call him Max. I have so many mixed feelings but I do know I want him here alive.

please watch your daddy he is not doing well at all. It worries and scares me. I know he is under a lot of stress and this is very hard on him. But please watch over him and keep him safe.

I hope your doing well my sweet boy. I wonder what you are doing. Do you think of me, do you know me. Do you know your sister. I wish I could see you again, hold you again, smell you, touch you. Mostly go back in time. I have not had a sign ( that I know of) in a while. I hope you are still with me.

I love you,