2.5 years

Hello beautiful boy. Today you would be 2.5 years old! It would be your half birthday! So happy half birthday.

Im still pregnant with your brother and yes it is still hard. I was so emotional with Alex and attached. I have been the opposite  this pregnancy. But I saw him on the 32 week ultrasound and I liked him! I love him. Im so afraid I will lose him too.

I know I talk about the same things all the time, but I guess they are always on my mind. But im still struggling with happiness. I think im jealous about not being pregnant happy. Its fearful to see people so blissfully happy. Dont they know that they can lose their baby so easily! Then I also get upset that I will never have the same excitement I did when I was pregnant with you. I'm jealous of that but also scared for them. I dont want anyone to have to feel what I feel.

Max tuesday makes a year since case face died. I know how hard your first year was for me. My heart aches for her mommy. no matter how strong one can be, you can never be strong enough for something like that.