I started working on your birthday fundraising flyer and wow I'm having a hard time. Did not realize that 2 months away would bring up so much. I was looking at your photos and I really miss you. All I have are 3 of you alive. The rest you are gone. Just really missing you and struggling a lot. But I'm the great pretender it's what info. I will get through for you. No one knows how hard this still is. A piece of me is missing. Alex is so great but I look at your pictures and then her. I see you in her so much and I just wonder, what if! What would you be like.

I miss you. I miss the toads. I need you.

I love you.