It's been a while baby boy. I'm having a hard night. Your birthday is tomorrow and I'm pretty emotional about it. You should be turning 3. It all still seems like yesterday. I was I the hospital being induced waiting for you. I was soooo happy. I will never get that happy back. I've been happy since , your brother and sister make me happy and my heart is full of joy. But still will never be the happy I was 3 years ago august 15th waiting for you. I'm sad very sad. I also feel incredibly alone. Life is strange right now. Your dad and I are not well and I think I'm starting to not like him somedays. But I love him. I love you and tomorrow you turn three!
I'm a bit upset because we moved, I don't have your tree here yet and I always have cake at your tree and bring you a ballon. Because the old house is still ours we may go to it tomorrow. I hated that house, but that house has memory's of you. From the moment of being pregnant, to the baby shower, setting your room up, then not coming home with you. Spending time at your tree was my escape. It's also the first year I did not have a picnic. I'm sorry.
Is it selfish to ask for a sign from you. I feel like there's no toads here to send me. And everything keeps going wrong. I love you little boy.
Until we meet agin I hold you in my heart.
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